You Can Call Me Spouse

A Very Hoangy Matrimony.

Micah & Megan Tell a Story

weddin
This was Beth’s email to me the day she discovered Micah and Megan:

“I’M FREAKING OUT!! I love love love love love these guys and THEY ARE AVAILABLE

EEEEE DEEEEE DAH DEEEE!!!!

Check out their blog and see if you get the tingles like I did!”

I checked and the tingles I got. Their portfolio showcased exactly what we wanted in our photographers.

Before the wedding, we had a Skype session and had drinks with them in Pasadena. The day of the wedding, they kept us calm, comfortable and most importantly, kept us laughing. They were phenomenal.

This was the email we received from them yesterday:

Hi Beth and Brandon!!

What a thrill and an honor it was to be a part of your wedding day! Thanks so very much for your patience as we have been working on your photos. We are working on your proofing gallery and will have the rest of your images ready soon, but in the meantime we just couldn’t wait to share some of your photos!

Grab a bottle of wine, sit down together, turn down the lights and turn up the volume. Click HERE to watch a some amazing moments from your wedding day!!

Warmly,

Micah and Megan

 

ATW

“Your wedding event was the most hyped up thing since I can remember, and it exceeded expectations.”
- James Mincks

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There are a lot of people who don’t buy into the institution of marriage (“buy” being the keyword here). I have to admit, their bullet point arguments are pretty sound. Whenever vendors hear “we’re getting married”, you can see the dollar signs spin in their eyes. It’s bullshit. You know it. We know it. They know it. I even tried at one point convince Beth it would be a good idea to tell our location vendors that it was for a “family reunion” just to see what the cost difference would be. The most popular argument you hear is “Why pay for a wedding when you can use that money towards a down payment on a house.”

They’re right. For what we spent on our wedding, we could be well on our way to plopping down the foundation for a cute little Los Angeles cottage.

But on Friday afternoon before the wedding day, just as I was about to perform a wicked cannonball into Smoke Tree’s pool, I looked out among my childhood friends, Beth’s childhood friends, my high school friends, Beth’s high school friends, my college friends, Beth’s college friends, my family, and Beth’s family all splashing around together. This was my cauldron of awesomeness. My beautiful, beautiful stew.

This is why I wanted to have a wedding. No other time in my life was this ever going to happen. I don’t regret throwing down that kind of cheddy for that kind of feels.

So. How was the wedding?

Quick and to-the-point response: I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Everything went as expected and while I knew it when Beth and I first started to plan this beast back in that tiny ryokan in Japan, I’m glad we did it our way. Beth and I tried to sprinkle in as much of “ourselves” into every aspect of the wedding weekend as we could and I think we accomplished that goal. From the Survival Kit Gift Bags that contained bottles of water, packets of Emergen C, band-aids and marriage equality stickers to the Beef Jerky VS Donuts table. Beth’s dream has always been to attend cocktail hour at her own wedding and we did.

Why explain it when you can show it, right? Here is a link to some of the photos

http://tinyurl.com/c6a679d

All that being said, I’m excited to get back to a life of normalcy. We can actually come out of our cave, blink into the sun as our eyes adjust to natural light and join our friends just as we had before. No more “Sorry, we can’t…. wedding errands.” And we can look forward to talking about anything else but the wedding. Onto the next adventure.

“I feel like we’ve passed a milestone. In the story that is our youth and young adulthood, we’ve made it to the climax of the third act–the Death Star was destroyed, medals were collected, Chewie moaned, the music swells (the orchestral theme, not that shitty pan flute music at the end of Return)–and now it’s that time where the protagonists ride into the sunset to destinations and adventures unknown as the credits roll. The audience doesn’t know where they’re going, just that they’ll be alright. “
- Wylie

Thanks for partying with us.
Brandon


FAQS

Who was your officiant?
Beth’s cousin Shannon. I’m surprised you don’t know her. No one else could have pulled it off. You can read more about her here.

What was that song Shannon referenced in her sermon?
Simon & Garfunkel’s Kathy’s Song

What were the readings you had at your ceremony?
Cousin Amy read a slightly altered excerpt from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. You can find it here.
Nick read his own poem (one that was tailored to Beth and me). You can read it here.

What was with the donut and beef jerky table?
Beth is obsessed with donuts. I love beef jerky. We wanted to have our guests indulge in things we love.

For your first dance, that wasn’t Jim Croce singing “I’ll Have to Say I Love You In a Song”. Who was it?
The story is that Beth and I wanted Jim’s song to be our first dance, but it was much too fast. Lucky for us, Beth’s brother Matt is a brilliant sound engineer. He played the guitar and mixed a slower version while he had a buddy of his provide the vocals.

How did you kill it with the dance music?
A lot of beers and a lot of hours with Wylie and Beth. This was not an easy task. We provided our DJ with a finely combed excel sheet with three columns: 1. Must Plays 2. Inspiration 3. Do not play under any circumstances. If you’d like a copy of said form, I’ll gladly send it along.

We also told him to reject all requests and to deny the microphone to anyone. #sorry #notsorry :D

Whoa… who did everyone’s hair?
Our favorite lady, Dessarae Harrington. She’s got her own place up on Magnolia Boulevard called Parlor.

Who were your photographers?
Micah & Megan. Calm, cool, funny, the best. Hire them.

Who was the artist that made all your Seating Arrangement Cards?
Noelle Stevenson. We were lucky to get her! You can find her blog here.

Uh… how many pizzas did you order at the After Party?
40

Which Newsies songs did you actually end up playing?
Details are a bit fuzzy, but I believe we ended up singing shouting “Carrying the Banner”, “Santa Fe”, “The World Will Know” and “King of New York”. I could be wrong though. I had a lot of whisky.

How’s that ring doing?
I ask myself, “Should I be getting food on this? Is handsoap going to ruin this somehow?” I also keep spinning it on my finger. When does that stop? I hear not for a while.

I guess I can’t crash on your couch anymore now that you’re married?
I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

Bill Pullman showed up a lot at our wedding

April 20, 2013

 

I awoke to a Facebook post from Wylie Overstreet. Turned to my side, flashed my phone to Beth and we both cracked up.

 

* * *

Good morning. In less than an hour, people from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the greatest wedding party in the history of mankind.

“Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it’s fate that tomorrow is the 20th of April, and you will once again be fighting for our party making. Not from tyranny, oppression, or ill-conceived drug laws… but from Annihilation, which is a double shot of Jamo with a pickle juice back. And should we win the day, the 20th of April will no longer be known as an chill-ass holiday and Taco Bell’s Black Friday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, ‘We will not go quietly into the night! Except maybe to look at some kick-ass stars! We will not vanish without a fight! Not counting dance battles! We’re going to live on, we’re going to SURVIVE.’

 

Tomorrow, we celebrate YOUR WEDDING DAY.”

 

Now pump this shit.

The Smoke Tree Redemption

I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.

I think it’s the excitement only a soon-to-be-married man can feel, a man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

I hope I can make it across the desert.

I hope to see my friends and shake their hands. I hope the pool at Smoke Tree is as blue as it has been in my dreams.

 

I hope.

#TheHoangover

As if you needed another excuse to check your phone at social events…

The Hoangover Wedding Party App

Want to see the wedding from everyone else’s booze colored lenses? It’s like Instagram, but everyone’s in on it AT THE SAME TIME.

1. Download  the “Wedding Party” app from your iPhone

2. Register and enter: #thehoangover

Instagram

Don’t forget to use #TheHoangover when tagging so the rest of the internet can party with us.

The Infamous Social DJ App

Apparently I dreamt this up and it doesn’t really exist. I’m sorry for my ugly lies, everyone. You’ll just have to trust in us not to mess up the After Party Mix.

“Welcome to the party, pal.”

welcometothepartypal

“So what’s left?”

Beth made this for herself on Friday night.

I found it tucked under about 100lbs worth of crafting material.

… so is this when I should start panicking?

 

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Rejected Flowergirl Dresses

I’m dead.

 

 

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Dress Code

Paxty:  semi-formal what the hell?

i don’t own a suit

Brandon:  Semi formal isn’t a suit. Pants (not corduroy), dress shirt, tie. What am I even telling you this for? Just let Kalista dress you.

Paxty:  what happened to you, man?

Brandon:  What are you freaking out about? What do you normally wear to weddings?

Paxty:  i thought i was safe. west coast wedding.

Brandon:  Just wear what you wore to Jane’s wedding!

Paxty:  i’ll class it up for you to the best of my wardrobe’s ability

no promises about kellen, though.

Paxty: you might get a tie

don’t remember if I still have any.

And the wedding gifts start rolling in…

Thanks Casey and Jack!

 

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Seating Assignments

battle-plans

“It’s time.”

It felt like I was being told to get into the minivan to get a cavity filled.

“Now? Are you sure? I mean, I could repaint the bathroom or finally take out that bag of clothes waiting to be donated or… or….”

“Come on,” Beth lovingly patted an open spot on the couch next to her. “We have to get this over with.”

I felt like the living room couch wasn’t the best place to be taking on a task such as this. I felt like we needed to pull out a giant strip of butcher paper as if we were preparing to campaign our next middle school treasurer. We needed to unravel the map on a large oak desk. We needed to be doing this in a properly stocked war room. I wanted one of those hooked sticks that I could use to move miniature statues of my friends and family to strategic areas of the war map.

We were about to take on the seating arrangements.

I plopped down next to Beth and she clacked away on her lap top. She had shrewdly copied the table schematic into PowerPoint. She tossed me her kindle that was already opened to a PDF of the guest list. We had the tools. No excuses.

The process of the seating arrangement is quite fascinating. You really start to dive deep into the psychology and sociology of your friends. Often going to places in your mind you never thought existed. Not to mention some of the quotes we mumbled so nonchalantly now seem ridiculous in hindsight. “Yeah we can’t sit them there. This is turning out to be a real booze table.”

It started to dawn on me why we were forced to perform long and complicated story problems in math. If Suzie wants to sit next to Peter, but Peter needs to sit next to Jane because they are dating and Jane can’t sit next to Suzie because Suzie is a real weirdo… and on and on.

Another interesting tidbit is that sometimes the best people are unfortunately torn apart from the friends they know best. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not playing favorites by calling them “the best”; what I mean to say is that they are the most adaptable. You can throw them into a pool of sharks with steaks tied to their necks and within minutes they’ll be riding them like Free Willy. “Oh Nick Franck? He’ll make friends with anyone. Let’s throw him at the table with the my mom’s friend-from-elementary-school’s kid who is eating his own tie right now”

These people are our saviors; the ones that fill up the odd-man-out seats. My freedom fighters.

After almost two hours of playing faux-musical chairs, the chart was complete. The funny thing is, wedding planning is like Neverland: you forget in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter. I could stick my second uncle with my old fraternity roommate and my ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend and the ground won’t open up and swallow our entire wedding party whole.

It’s

just

dinner.

Wish us luck,
Brandon

Post Script
I was just informed that three of the tables now have to fit 10 people instead of 8. This throws off our entire scheme. Looks like we have to toss out our battle plans and start again.

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